In Japan, WhyTF do they…
1) Always back in to park, never frontways?
2) Love mayonnaise but hate cheese? Both are rich and creamy and I think cheese is better!
3) Only pay cash? Even for big things like houses and cars?
4) Close the ATMs?
5) Sell the large and small sizes of food and drink for the same or almost the same price?
6) Always ride bikes, but not have any bikes with gears or shocks?
7) Have so many vending machines everywhere when you can’t eat or drink walking down the street?
8) Take naked communal baths, but think tank tops are super scandalous and slutty?
9) Wear skirts so short you can see their butt cheeks but think tank tops are scandalous and slutty?
10) Deliver mail on Sundays, but close the post office?
11) Sell sashimi-grade, gorgeous marbled salmon fillets for 200yen but charge 2000yen for a melon?
12) Use the post office to take care of banking? Why do you have a bank then?
13) Pioneer the hottest tech gadgets, while running Windows XP and IE 7 on a ten-year old Toshiba brick and thinking that’s normal computing?
14) Eschew religion, but call in the priests to do an exorcism on the house when something bad happens?
15) Pride themselves on subtlety and discretion, then weave all over the road rubbernecking when a white person goes for a jog?
16) Pound beer, sake and liquor like it’s going out of style, but keel over drunk after one glass of real wine?
17) Eat anything and everything that goes round with its back to the sky, frequently with limbs or eyes still on, sometimes still alive…and then get squicked out by peanut butter?
18) Pretend like you can’t understand what time they’re going to pick you up tomorrow, instead using BabelFish, then hand you the phone when the Japanese-only car dealership calls expecting you to arrange the details yourself?
19) Obsess about bathing, and have no bath towels softer than sandpaper or thicker than Kleenex?
More to come, doubtless, as Japan continues to amuse, delight and confound this hapless gaijin.
No comments:
Post a Comment