In Which Amanda Sits On A Chair, And Other Main Stage Adventures

Today was a day of pomp and circumstance; the opening ceremonies, and my welcome ceremony, for this trimester. Now, although I was forewarned that I would need to have a self-introduction prepared (and also that my supervisors would like it if I made my speech in both English and in Japanese), I was NOT forewarned that such common niceties as my family and my hobbies were taboo subjects. I was informed of this as I was walking toward the stage, being told I was not to tell the students any of those sorts of things as they were supposed to ask me in my classes about them. Thanks for the heads-up, guys - I mean really, what else would YOU write about in a self-introduction to elementary school kids than your hometown, your family and your hobbies? So much for that speech. Instead I just rambled a bit in English and sat down. The curriculum coordinator, who had corrected my Japanese in my speech for me in advance and so KNEW WHAT IT WAS ABOUT, then looked at me and said “And now in Japanese?”. Yah right buddy, with thirty seconds to do it on the fly? I’m winging this in ENGLISH now, fat chance I’m making it up in two different languages as I go. I flat refused.

The next school welcoming ceremony saw me sitting alone, on a chair, on an empty stage, while a parade of Japanese people took turns standing in front of me and talking. In addition to the fact that this is sort of awkward by nature, coupled with the fact that I look rather distinctly different than almost everyone in Akita Prefecture, there was yet another compounding factor. All Japanese have similar coloring; they’re all in the Winter palette for coloring, meaning they look good in true white and true black. I however am an Autumn, and do not look good in true white or true black. And so it came to be that I was wearing the only non-neutral tone shirt in the entire school - a vibrant jade green blouse, in fact - sitting on a chair alone on stage under spotlights. Stellar. While I realize this was intended as a welcome ceremony, all I can say is that something got lost in translation between the Japanese phrase used and the intent implied by “welcoming” in the English language. If anything, it felt like an ostracization ceremony, or at the very least a zoo exhibit, as every student and staffer gawked at me on my little chair on stage.

Yet again, thank you Japan for your ever-confounding yet ever impeccably polite “hospitality”!