Rant, Cont'd.

Ok. So, last night's update in fact glossed over several other (equally hilarious, albeit unintentionally hugely offensive) episodes that I have endured of late. These include glorious moments such as the following conversation with one of my JTEs.

JTE: Have you eaten yakiniku?
Me: Yes. I like it a lot.
JTE: Ah. Where have you eaten?
Me: You mean where in Japan?
JTE: So.
Me: Well I haven't eaten yakiniku in Japan.
JTE: Ah. So you have never tried yakiniku.
Me: No I've had it, just not in Akita.
JTE: Right. So you have not tried.
Me: Have you ever heard of frikking Benihana?!?!

The total disconnect here was the notion that one might possibly live in a country that is NOT Japan in which one might be able to consume Japanese foods. My school staffers were amazed to hear that in the average American supermarket you can buy rice and soy sauce. Blew their minds. I felt it unnecessary to further shock their systems by explaining that many American user manuals, signs, guidebooks, menus, etc are available in Japanese, sushi and sashimi are popular, and we DO know what miso soup, gyoza, ramen, udon, soba, yakiniku and mochi are in the US. I was afraid I was the only one whose head wouldn't spontaneously explode, which would mean I'd get stuck cleaning Japanese brains off the teachers' room walls. Let's just say there's a reason that if you have any Japanese friends and you tell them you know an American girl who lives in Akita, their facial expression will probably move in this progression: shock, pity, and politely composed lemonade-making of the lemon most people consider life in Akita to be. (I actually sort of like it here, weird and alien and isolated as it is. But people's comments about "Wow. There are old people, trees and rice paddies there. Pack a coat." aren't too far off the mark to be honest.)

This is why, despite my annoyances with the place, I don't think Japanese people are racist. (One small amendment there; I think they ARE racist towards other Asians, ESPECIALLY Koreans and Southeast Asians. But not non-ethnically-Asian people.) When it comes to non-Asian people, Japanese people don't even really have "negative" or "hateful" or "condescending" attitudes. There's simply a short-circuit. Japan, for example, really doesn't have American or Mexican or Indian food readily available - as a consequence, Japanese people tend to assume that Americans only have access to American food (which, as far as they can tell from their media - remember American media sells us some pretty absurd international stereotypes, too - is hamburgers and french fries). Logical enough; in their country, they mostly only have their own ethnic cuisine...so the notion that Americans eat only McDonald's is a reasonable inference. McDonald's is American, they know McDonald's, so it follows that Americans, living in America, must eat McDonald's. And since most international food doesn't exist here, and many Japanese people (at least in Akita) have limited if any exposure to the world outside Japan, they extrapolate from their own situations and assume that other countries don't eat Japanese food, just like Japanese don't eat other countries' food particularly.

This is cold comfort in that it makes the assumptions understandable, not less annoying.

Similarly, the Japanese shock and horror that I don't know their celebrities, TV shows, idols, bands and comedians by name and face is aggravating. When I was first introduced, kids would ask me what singers or TV shows I liked. Originally I was truthful...a tactic that, as my friend Tom recently commiserated, elicited mostly blank stares and disappointment. Scrubs, Jeopardy!, Top Chef and Entourage, apparently, are not big here. Much easier to lie and say you love friggin' SpongeBob Squarepants...Similarly, don't say you like Green Day, Pearl Jam, Jimmi Hendrix or Sweatshop Union. My favorite singers, for convenience purposes and only on school premises, are Madonna, Michael Jackson and Britney Spears. And yet, somehow, despite the fact that THEY know none of MY pop culture idols, icons and standbys...they, including my JTEs, never cease to be amazed and/or horrified by my lack of knowledge of Japanese celebrities and pop culture.

Hello people. This should not be a mystery. DO I LOOK JAPANESE?!?!

Sofia Coppola had the right idea but failed to express it in its full depth and spectrum....

Sometimes I feel like my whole life is lost in translation.