The Leprechaun Was Insufficient: Japan Brings Greater Insanity Via Typhoon Melor

Yes, I know it's late and I should be sleeping. But the roar of the first gusts of wind and the clattering of the first driven drops of rain on my windows woke me up, and at the moment there's no calming my nerves. You see, normally I'm not quite so finicky about the weather...but tonight's a little different.

Apparently Japan's last performance review asserted that it was not bringing adequate insanity to my life. Enter Typhoon Melor. Melor, which has at least weakened considerably since its original classification as a Category 5 Super Typhoon, is nonetheless bearing down on the Land of the Rising Sun, and according to current forecasts has its sights set cheerily on Akita once it's done ravaging Tokyo like Godzilla on Viagra. OK, you say, slow down two ticks there girly. What's going on? Well, as you may or may not know already, it's currently typhoon season here in Crazyland. Normally, this would mean approximately jack diddly to me, because Akita is so far north that most of these storms, just like most people, decide it's not worth their bother and give up somewhere slightly north of Tokyo. Not Melor. (Melor, by the way, is the Malay word for "jasmine". What a cute moniker for a 357-mile-wide swatch of rotating tropical storm doom.) This puppy seems absolutely determined to make the trek out here to the rice paddies. In fact, current forecasts are leaning towards the possibility that Melor may ride the pineapple current north in the Sea of Japan, dragging its violent, and recently Japan-Sea-recharged, eye wall right over my house.

Melor is set to cause storm surges upwards of 10 feet in a lot of places, packs plenty of windy punch (and I don't mean it's full of hot air...), and could dump as much as 50 centimeters or more of rain within a twenty-four hour period. Let's just say I could be seriously wet by tomorrow evening, and that isn't a sexual innuendo.

What do I know about typhoons? A lot more now that I did this morning, before I figured out I was about to be caught in one. Another interesting sidenote; the human brain is a funny thing. I'd been skimming news stories about the tropical storm activity wreaking havoc in the Philippines, etc, but in my head somehow this still registered as a Problem On the Other Side of the Planet. It never occurred to me that storm activity raping Manila and Luzon might mean I should check my weather forecast. Next time I'll know better. And won't have to wait until my JTEs ask me if I'm aware that I'm about to be swallowed by a gigantic tropical storm.

So how does one prepare for a typhoon? Well, this being my first time, it's largely guesswork for me. I went shopping and bought lots of bottled water, canned food and dry goods, flashlights, spare batteries, and a radio, just in case the storm knocks out power or other infrastructure. I'll be making sure to crack a couple windows during the storm, to ensure I don't create a vacuum in my house. Hopefully, Melor changes course, or moves north overland instead of over the sea, both possibilities that would reduce the storm's severity for me. I'll be leaving school early tomorrow, if I go in at all, to ensure I'm not driving once Melor hits Akita.

Stay tuned; hopefully my power and internet will remain functional. If not, don't be alarmed if I disappear for a while - either way, keep watching for further updates about my first typhoon experience! Unless I die when Melor sucks the roof off my house and spirits me away to the Japanese version of Oz, which is probably a lot like Hayao Miyazaki's alternate dimension in Spirited Away. Only with Munchkins. And Glinda, I hope. I always wanted to be Glinda when I was a kid.